I RAN!

I did run today on the treadmill. It wasn't my best run, but I did it. No excuses for me today. Randy and I also started painting the guest bedroom. Don't worry Cardinal fans, it isn't going to be Cub blue! There probably will be some pictures and knick knacks that are Cub and Notre Dame related. I think our St. Louis friends could still manage to stay in the room without being too offended!!

Living Like an Overweight Teenage Boy

Okay...no offense to overweight teenage boys, I just felt like I could relate to them today. For Christmas my brother bought me an original Nintendo with Super Mario Brothers. I have NEVER owned any type of game system before in my life. So I'm 30 and I'm asking for a Nintendo. All my friends had them when I was in junior high, but not me. Well there is a shop in my hometown that refurbishes Nintendos and has all the games to go with it.

So all day today I played Mario Brothers and ate! I did clean a little, but I didn't even take a shower. I know, gross. I kept telling myself I wasn't going to shower because I was going to run. Well it's 11 o'clock at night and I have not run, but I've made it to level 4-4. Pitiful! So I unplugged the Nintendo so tomorrow can be a little more productive. I see how people become addicted to these kind of things.

I had to write this down because I was going to pretend like it didn't happen. I was going to pretend like I didn't eat all my Christmas candy from my stocking, pizza rolls, peanuts, popcorn, and cookies today. But I did. And I can't pretend like it didn't happen.

Tomorrow I'm starting with a run and then a trip to Lowes to buy primer for our first house project!

Virginia Rose - the woman, the talcum powder

My grandmother was named after a talcum powder. My great grandmother didn't know what to name her second child. As she gave birth in her bedroom next to the bed was talcum powder named Virginia Rose. So that's where my grandma got her name. She tells us that is was a great source of embarrassment to her that her mom didn't have a name picked out for her. But my great grandmother wasn't supposed to be able to have children, so maybe she was just enjoying the fact that she would have two. (She had a total of six altogether!) Many people in my family have used her middle name when naming their children. (Including me....my dog, Bailee Rose).

My grandma's stories are always the best part of our visits. She knew how to tell a good story. She didn't have a lot of energy to share stories this visit. But she did get to come to my Aunt and Uncles for Christmas...hence the picture of her and the cat. (She's talking to the cat in this picture!) Isn't it amazing how animals help raise peoples spirits? It's another thing I can put on my list to help me de-stress...my dogs.

I wasn't going to show my face until I was successful with my weight loss but this picture of my mom, grandma and me in front of the tree at her nursing home was so good, I just couldn't resist.

I'm going to be honest and say that I'm having a really difficult time with my grandma's health. Mostly because I still have a little bit of anger towards her comments about my engagement. I'm trying to let those go, but it's really hard. I just have to remind myself that it is just one part of her and I can't let it override all the good memories.

I am going to post this picture of the three of us in front of my treadmill so I remember that I may not always have the ability to run and I need to take advantage of this time in my life.

That's all the sappier I'm going to get about Christmas in Ohio. I just had to write it out.

My Christmas Movie

The beginning of my Christmas trip to see my Grandma was like a bad Christmas movie. You know the ones where everything goes wrong? My mom and I traveled from Kansas City to Cleveland. Our first flight flew into Chicago and was an hour late. Then my mom and I rush to, what felt like, the other side of the airport. Luckily our connecting flight was also late, otherwise we would have missed it. Then when we got on the connecting flight and sat in the airplane for an hour waiting for them to de-ice the wings. We finally got to Cleveland 2 1/2 hours after we were supposed to get there. Still not too bad, right? We met my great Aunt and Uncle at the airport (you always feel guilty when the older people have to wait in the airport for you for two hours). Then we went to get our luggage and it wasn't there. Now I could understand us not getting the luggage if our flight had left when it was supposed to, but we sat on at the gate for an hour? What were those people doing?

So after a little dinner my mom and I shopped at Target for pjs and other items.
Then, we went and stayed at Grandma's house with no luggage and no Grandma. (She's been in a nursing home since the day after Thanksgiving). We were supposed to be able to see here the night we arrived, but we didn't get to my grandma's hometown until after her "bedtime." It was a little depressing to lay in the quiet house.

That's where the Christmas movie ended. Our luggage arrived the next day at 6 pm. And it was ours. Sorry, no funny stories of opening the luggage to find someone else's things like in Meet the Parents.

I will say that it was a harsh reality to see my grandma in the state that she is. I realized how lucky I am to be able to run and walk and just generally move. There were so many people including my grandma who had lost a lot of their mobility. What makes it hard is my grandma is there mentally so she's so frustarted all the time about how her body won't work. I don't want to ever take my body for granted again.

Taking on Others Stress

Thanks to everyone who send their encouragement. It's good to know that others "have your back"

Can I just tell you that I know that I eat when I'm stressed. It's like a bad habit that has turned into an addiction. The last few days I have been really upset because one of my students has really sucky parents. I'm not talking about parents who maybe don't raise their kids the way you think they should, or even parents who might have occasional lapse in judgement. I'm talking about parents who don't really care about their child. Parents who abadon their child and don't make sure their basic needs are being met each day. I have a student whose life is unimaginable for me and today I just finally sat down and cried about it. I feel so helpless.

I always start the year out thinking about how I would want my kids to be treated if they were in my class. I'd say 99% of my students have parents that love them as much as I do and probably more. But sometimes, I think I'm the only one in their life that really loves them. And that is SAD!

Anyway, I write this because I cannot keep taking on these stresses as my own. Tonight I ate a gingerbread cookie and milk, cried a little about how upset and angry I was about it. But I need other ways to reduce my stress. I know that I should have run, but I got home at 7:00 and I feel like I'm starting to get sick. Maybe that's a poor excuse, but I really don't want to get my Grandma sick when I head up to Ohio

Any ways others reduce work related stress?

Why I'm Bloggin'

I'm tired of the way that I look. I have been struggling to loose 15 to 20 pounds for years now. I have given myself tons of excuses....but the truth is that I don't have a reason why I can't be fit and healthy. I just bought a treadmill and so I'm going to chronicle my successes, failures, or mishaps. I want to feel good about what I see in the mirror.

Let me start out by saying that I know there are people who have to loose more weight then I do and for a while I let that stop me from talking about my struggle. (What's 20 lbs, when the people you talk to are trying to loose 100 lbs). But NO MORE! I am allowing myself to express how I feel. I'm having a hard time and I feel that I should be able to express that.

I uploaded two unpleasant pictures. One from this summer standing next to my cousin who has won the battle against her weight and one with the turkey at Thanksgiving. They are embarrassing. So I cannot show my face. Maybe blogging will allow me to air my feelings without having to get too personal with people that don't already know me.